Sociability

[raven]

Personally since this PSSD started I've isolated myself much more. It's difficult being around people when you're emotionally numb, knowing you should be enjoying yourself with friends yet feeling nothing and sometimes being unable to fake even a smile.

Until recently I didn't see much issue with this, removing myself from that source of despair just seemed sensible, but this last couple of weeks I've been seeing family and friends much more than usual. And have managed to stop the constant process of self analysis and doubt whilst being around people.

I was super worried about hanging out with my little cousins, I don't want to appear numb or miserable to them cause they are just kids who look up to me. But today I found myself playing with them so naturally and having a great tine.

For me I can already tell that this type of sociability is going to be a fundamental pillar to my recovery, like exercise and diet. I feel better for doing it in my mind, even though PSSD symptoms haven't improved. I think it's important to get back into the world. I've sorted some tinder dates for next week too. Just trying to push the boat out a bit.

Anyway not really sure why I made this thread, it could very well be that this is a personal development with little value to others considering that I've always had some issues with self imposed isolation, but I guess I just want to say that others should consider trialling periods where they are more sociable if isolated, like we trial our supplements, it might do us some good.

 

[MNK99]

I relate a lot to that @raven.
Honestly, for a few years after my pssd/related events... I was pretty detached, and didn't show emotions much. I'm kind of surrounded by people who are like that anyways,
and it was partly a defense mechanism (after the detachement, derealization, unemotionality of pssd was over), I stayed aloof on purpose. I got better at that.

I got a lot better when I was solo, and could show family and friends that I'm doing well and working hard. It was easier to take an interest in others and listen to them.
I know what you mean about not appearing dead inside to others, especially younger relatives.

I went out on many dates back then and couldn't force myself to make the next move, because those feelings were suppressed. I don't exactly know what I did (sorry about that), but it got better, and I could show much more emotions to those that I really liked and that I felt a connection to. I did improv and got into writing, acting and stuff later... so it's definitely possible. Sociability is key. Isolation and lack of connection leads to a lot of misery in this world.

I hope you're doing a bit better man. It's good that you recognize this, I don't think I did recognize it sometimes at your age how important friends are...
Make sure you make the right kind of friends, even if you just have one best friend to confide in - it can make a world of difference. Are you into writing, music, or a sport or something you can join to meet new people? Tinder's not a bad idea either. I never really met too many of my friends at my school after PSSD, most of them went to different schools or were working. I met them pretty randomly.

Even weightlifting with a friend can be great too. Joining a yoga class, etc.

 

[Niles]

This is so important. Being social, doing new things, moving forward in life despite your condition, all of these things have been highlighted in recovery stories. I went out this past weekend for a full day with friends, the first time since my latest crash, and it did wonders for my mood/energy. Feeling normal, if only for a bit, goes a very long way.

 

[bruschi11]

So much truth in this thread already. Hearing yourself speak, being around others.... it just gives you confidence.

Moving in with friends this past August really got me going. Seeing my friends live their lives made me think “what are they doing that’s so great?! I’m curing myself from disease, pretty cool what I’m doing here! Why be jealous of them.” It gave me confidence and I started going out a little bit.

Now I’m lucky if I get 2 free nights in by myself a week... after being in bed my legit first seven months of pfs.

 

[MNK99]

It's true @bruschi11 most people lead ordinary lives and are never remembered. No offense to neurotypical, happy mofos, I'm just saying.

Just mirror people in relationships and everything will go smooth. Show interest and allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Improv is actually a great way to meet some cool people. I met some cool people there, cute girls, and a pretty good friend that is an app developer. Also helps hone those skills of bsing on the spot, for things like law and business. It is stressful though at times, and not like writing a story or stand-up. Can't think of something elaborate, need to be very fast. You need to play off the idea that the last person put forth and also set up the next person to continue the story. I owned it at times, and have been very embarrassed at other times. I think doing it now, I'd be messed up. Cannot do it on ADHD medicine, I'm way too serious then. Mostly I was late at first, and that kind of pissed off the instructor. It is good for anxiety I think, because it forces you to let go of things and just not care how you look or act, or seeming smart/capable etc. Nice verbal games too. I think it's great for sales, and learning how to pitch ideas as well. I did it a lot in grade school too, but that was just "drama" class.