Concerned PFS Log

[Concerned]

Just posted a thread on my blood test results which can be found here: Concerned's Blood Test Results Comparison (Before and After PFS)

There's been a shocking drop in total testosterone levels:

March 2018: Serum testosterone level 11.3 nmol/L

November 2017: Serum testosterone level 18.1 nmol/L

June 2017: Serum testosterone level 17.8 nmol/L

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Last night was really bad. Ate a steak with greens around 6 pm. By about 8 pm I was in a terrible state with brain fog and depression. Passed out through exhaustion for around 20 minutes. Woke up and felt slightly better but still really bad. Voice is starting to sound weak and croaky. Went to bed, had around 7 hours sleep (interrupted) which is an improvement. Been up since 7.30 am and approaching 2 pm and still haven't eaten. Feel better for it, minimal brain fog and can concentrate better, anxiety much reduced from last night. On the flip side I feel so physically weak, I've barely got out of bed all day but having no calories will contribute hugely to that. Coming up for 20 hours fasted which is nothing to the guys here who have done proper ones but I think that's the longest I've ever gone without food in my life.

I wanted to get a hair test done before starting a fast but I have to listen to my body. My mind is functioning so much better when I don't eat. Lying in bed now and trying to find things to do to stave off the boredom. This is difficult.

 

[Goose12]

Just posted a thread on my blood test results which can be found here: Concerned's Blood Test Results Comparison (Before and After PFS)

There's been a shocking drop in total testosterone levels:

March 2018: Serum testosterone level 11.3 nmol/L

November 2017: Serum testosterone level 18.1 nmol/L

June 2017: Serum testosterone level 17.8 nmol/L

-----------------------------------------

Last night was really bad. Ate a steak with greens around 6 pm. By about 8 pm I was in a terrible state with brain fog and depression. Passed out through exhaustion for around 20 minutes. Woke up and felt slightly better but still really bad. Voice is starting to sound weak and croaky. Went to bed, had around 7 hours sleep (interrupted) which is an improvement. Been up since 7.30 am and approaching 2 pm and still haven't eaten. Feel better for it, minimal brain fog and can concentrate better, anxiety much reduced from last night. On the flip side I feel so physically weak, I've barely got out of bed all day but having no calories will contribute hugely to that. Coming up for 20 hours fasted which is nothing to the guys here who have done proper ones but I think that's the longest I've ever gone without food in my life.

I wanted to get a hair test done before starting a fast but I have to listen to my body. My mind is functioning so much better when I don't eat. Lying in bed now and trying to find things to do to stave off the boredom. This is difficult.

Fasting now is definitely one off the best things you can do.

One way to keep your self busy is to read logs on this forum and gbolduev theories to get your self educated on what you are going through.

 

[Concerned]

Fasting now is definitely one off the best things you can do.

One way to keep your self busy is to read logs on this forum and gbolduev theories to get your self educated on what you are going through.

The fasting definitely seems to be helping with the mental side of things, so hungry already though haha

And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Almost all I’ve been doing when I’ve had the energy. I’m reading so many incredible stories on here.

 

[Concerned]

Are there any do's and don'ts I should be aware of while going through this water fast?

I'm drinking only tap water. Is that passable or should it really be filtered or bottled?

Do I need to do anything like adding salt to my water? I saw Nina used 1/2 tea spoon in the morning during her water fast.

Is brushing my teeth with toothpaste ok (not that I have much energy to do so at the moment)?

Do I start any of the electrolytes during the fast or is it ok to wait until afterwards?

Anything else in general?


I'm over 24 hours in now and mental symptoms are greatly improved over yesterday. Things were so bad after eating yesterday. At least today I feel calm and can concentrate better. Not sure how sleep will go on an empty stomach. Haven't moved much at all today, almost all of it in bed or on the couch.

 

[MNK99]

I think it depends on the quality of water. Much of Canadian water is super clean (not all of it). If I had any doubt, I'd use filtered water. Gbolduev may be against deionized water. I was lying on the couch or bed for like half my fast if not more, got more active started walking a bit, then very short jogs. Then later after refeeding got back to the gym and at least some socialization, but a lot of work too -- that I certainly was not doing before fasting. I went from super active and not being able to stand still to bedridden, fasting helped a lot, and I think it's okay to lie down for a bit. It should be at rest acc to some, acc to others it's okay to do cardio/strength. I don't think there's anything wrong with going for a walk if you're able to. Others like @Nina worked out and went to work, same with @Orion. I was destroyed by this drug, but fixing it. And then never ever again will I let anything like this happen. I believe brushing is ok, but if you don't have the energy to do so, that may be ok too. Not sure about the salts, I think it really depends if you need it or not, it's trial and error man, regardless of what others may have you believe.

 

[Concerned]

I think it depends on the quality of water. Much of Canadian water is super clean (not all of it). If I had any doubt, I'd use filtered water. Gbolduev may be against deionized water. I was lying on the couch or bed for like half my fast if not more, got more active started walking a bit, then very short jogs. Then later after refeeding got back to the gym and at least some socialization, but a lot of work too -- that I certainly was not doing before fasting. I went from super active and not being able to stand still to bedridden, fasting helped a lot, and I think it's okay to lie down for a bit. It should be at rest acc to some, acc to others it's okay to do cardio. I don't think there's anything wrong with going for a walk if you're able to. Others like @Nina worked out and went to work, same with @Orion. I was destroyed by this drug, but fixing it. And then never ever again will I let anything like this happen. I believe brushing is ok, but if you don't have the energy to do so, that may be ok too. Not sure about the salts, I think it really depends if you need it or not, it's trial and error man, regardless of what others may have you believe.

Thanks man. I'm basically bedridden anyway so now's as good a time as any to do this fast. It really helps to hear how you made such an improvement from fasting. Improvement is what is powering me through so far. Thankfully my mental symptoms have improved a bit today. Hunger pangs are already there for sure but nothing I can't deal with. Lying down all day doesn't have much of a calorie requirement ha.

 

[MNK99]

The longer fast probably saved my life man. And if I wasn't around so many tense people back when I was a kid, I think it could have stopped me from feeling the need for Effexor, or at least have helped me with PSSD and other side effects (cognitive, mood, focus, weight gain, energy etc). I survived all that bs, haphazardly, without this forum, but I'm very thankful for it. I wish I didn't ever take either of these, but until recently I was at peace sort of with what happened then - for the most part. It hurts, having it happen twice (differently, and I'm more mature and usually smarter now), but it definitely made me stronger. One day this finasteride issue will make me better equipped to survive and succeed too. If I ever have kids, they're staying the hell away from all these drugs. And no one can say I'm not a fighter. There's really no other option for me. Take your enjoyment where you can, and let the process happen. I have so many scattered thoughts and ideas (my norm), and I couldn't formulate a single coherent plan that I could actually remember until during/after fasting. Small successes accumulate into larger ones, and staying consistent and modifying plans as necessary will enable you to get through all this. This is kind of like university, where I went from straight A's to terrible, to learning how to be a student again.

 

[Concerned]

Almost at 48 hours on the water fast now. Feeling incredibly weak and a bit spaced out. Developed a bruising like pain in my right shoulder. One positive is that I haven't had that manic like state yesterday or today. Can barely get up to go to the toilet. This finasteride crash has definitely caused a type of cfs in me. Who knew you could feel like this at 32.

 

[MNK99]

When you say manic state, you mean erratic? short with people, "hypomanic"? A lot of increased energy and drive - either positive or negative. Or do you mean like delusional? Insomnia? truly "manic" -- hours on end, a different state? I've seen some states on that spectrum in my day... took a long time to realize that it was that and other issues, actually probably since teens... but i don't think that's what you're talking about. Have you ever described yourself as acting manically? I used to be able to describe these things and hyperactive a bit better. I can still at times.... but i'm not my norm. Whatever it was, it was largely positive at times, but when destructive... very bad for me.

But it's kind of like being an alcoholic... (now pretty obvious to me when someone is), but at 19-22 years old, it's hard to see.
Did you sleep much?

Anyways, 99%+ chance it's just temporary and nothing to worry about. NO sleep or no food, and definitely both can cause various degrees of "manic states" - obviously worse for some people than others. I frequently survived on little sleep (not good I know), and was very tired more recently bc of finasteride... normalized a bit more and more thru the fast, and then later in coming weeks. So energy levels will slowly return to my optimal, and are markedly improved from my worst. I'm sure yours will as well.

 

[Concerned]

When you say manic state, you mean erratic? short with people, "hypomanic"? A lot of increased energy and drive - either positive or negative. Or do you mean like delusional? Insomnia? truly "manic" -- hours on end, a different state? I've seen some manic states in my day... took a long time to realize that it was that and other issues, actually probably since teens... but i don't think that's what you're talking about. Have you ever described yourself as acting manically? I used to be able to describe these things and hyperactive a bit better. I can still at times....

But it's kind of like being an alcoholic... (now pretty obvious to me when someone is), but at 19-22 years old, it's hard to see.
Did you sleep much?

No, nothing like that. More like I couldn't cope with the way my brain was feeling, that to be awake was too mentally painful. I was tossing my head side to side on the couch and moaning like grunting noises. Then I passed out.

Yes, last night I slept much better, between 7 and 8 hours I think. I may have woke up briefly during the night. The worst time where I nearly called the Samaritans, I had a few days in a row of little and broken sleep.

I've never acted manically before in my life. I'm known as a pretty calm person in general.

 

[MNK99]

Nice... it's good to be calm. Lol.
I see. Glad, you are doing a bit better man. I slept like 3-4 hours yesterday but may nap or go to bed early. I'm adjusting some things.

 

[bruschi11]

Almost at 48 hours on the water fast now. Feeling incredibly weak and a bit spaced out. Developed a bruising like pain in my right shoulder. One positive is that I haven't had that manic like state yesterday or today. Can barely get up to go to the toilet. This finasteride crash has definitely caused a type of cfs in me. Who knew you could feel like this at 32.

These next couple of days or so are going to be the worst. This isn’t pfs now this is just the fast really taking a toll on your body.

Theres a lot of bacteria, viruses- stuff dying in your body. Your liver is letting go of toxins and they are getting into blood stream.

This is all normal. Just find something interesting enough to do or just rest.

Don’t think about food or read about it. Just get away from it.

 

[Concerned]

65 hours into fast now. Slept around 7 hours with a few periods of waking in between (something I never used to do). Had a sexual dream and woke up with quite a strong erection. Rubbed it just to see what it feels like. Almost instantly went down. Could feel that the sensitivity had gone and the whole structure felt different. Very scary stuff.

Do I need to see a urologist about this and can they help me in any way?

These next couple of days or so are going to be the worst. This isn’t pfs now this is just the fast really taking a toll on your body.

Theres a lot of bacteria, viruses- stuff dying in your body. Your liver is letting go of toxins and they are getting into blood stream.

This is all normal. Just find something interesting enough to do or just rest.

Don’t think about food or read about it. Just get away from it.

Mentally I've improved a lot from Thursday, which is the last time I ate. However, I'm the weakest I've ever felt physically in my life. Got out of bed this morning to have a shit (very dark stools). Filled up my water bottle then got on the couch; just doing this was enough to exhaust me, heavy breathing for about ten minutes afterwards. Right shoulder still feels as though I've been punched hard there.

Haven't thought about food much funnily enough. When I do, it's of an intense, fantasising nature. Only lasts a few moments. Haven't changed clothes since Wednesday/Thursday. Haven't showered since Thursday.

Got such little energy that I'd probably need a wheelchair to leave the house for more than ten minutes. What has happened is insane.

 

[Chapman]

How's your fast going @Concerned? Hang in there mate people get very odd symptoms while fasting, it is just the body cleansing.

 

[Concerned]

How's your fast going @Concerned? Hang in there mate people get very odd symptoms while fasting, it is just the body cleansing.

Hey Chapman, thanks for the words of support. Out of interest, have you ever done a fast yourself and if so, for how long?

I'm two and a half hours away from making it four days only water. So far, it has been surprisingly manageable. I don't think I've had many water fast related symptoms other than a light head feeling intermittently and a bit less energy than before (though my energy levels were already shockingly low before the fast, unlike anything I've felt in my life previously outside of severe flu, closest comparison from my empirical experience). This is quite extraordinary to me as pre-crash, I'd get moody and irritable after 5-6 hours without food. I've had my hand forced by the symptoms brought about by the crash: almost every time I ate, the worst brain fog and depression would strike me, wretched delirium. So... I've just stopped eating, which coincidentally has been the advice of so many here - to fast. So while I'm happy with myself for having the fortitude to get this far without eating, it's fundamentally out of sheer fear of eating and the neurological symptoms it was bringing that has provided the motivation. I'm scared that once I start eating again, those symptoms could start again. I'm hoping this fast will eliminate that response. So many on this site had big improvements from extended fasting and I'm hoping I do too.

I'm very grateful that since Friday morning (fast began Thursday evening), the delirium and extreme fog haven't afflicted me. I'm still having bad neurological symptoms, almost like I've been hit around the head, and I still can't play online gaming thus far but I can now watch tv/movies and concentrate.

Last night's sleep was the worst in four days (I think). Same story of sleeping a few hours then waking up sharp, something I never, ever used to do. Then an hour or two or low quality sleep.


The doctor had to come to my home today (can't get in the car then go to the doctors, crazy). He listened to all my symptoms, observed me and said he'd research pfs as it's not something he's aware of (appreciate his honestly and willingness to look into it). He's getting back in contact with me on Wednesday. He agreed that a water fast is ok to do if I want to, but wasn't keen on going past 7 days of fasting. I'll see how it goes but if I feel capable of it, I'd like to go to ten days.

 

[Chapman]

I've done a couple of 3 day fasts but nothing longer. You're doing brilliantly. The doc sounds great, at least they're willing to research the condition, although unfortunately there is little they can do outside of treating symptoms. I previously mentioned pfs to a doctor back in march 2017 and they had no idea. Unfortunately at this stage its poorly understood by medicine so we have no choice but to use experimental treatments to treat it, I'd definitely recommend reading the threads on pfs, they're very informative.

 

[Chapman]

I really think ella/ru maybe a good treatment to try after your fast but obviously understand if you're cautious with those.

 

[Concerned]

I've done a couple of 3 day fasts but nothing longer. You're doing brilliantly. The doc sounds great, at least they're willing to research the condition, although unfortunately there is little they can do outside of treating symptoms. I previously mentioned pfs to a doctor back in march 2017 and they had no idea. Unfortunately at this stage its poorly understood by medicine so we have no choice but to use experimental treatments to treat it, I'd definitely recommend reading the threads on pfs, they're very informative.

He was good. I think him seeing me like this, he has to look a bit further into it because my condition is very bad and all the standard checks so far show normal readings. I'm not holding out for a solution to everything from the nhs but hopefully they can get me to a stomach doctor at least.

And I'll keep the ru/ella treatments in mind for sure. I don't want to be doing things back to back without time in between. My early plan for now is to complete a seven to ten day water fast then slowly refeed. Once that is done, using electrolytes. I'll see where I'm at then.

 

[Concerned]

14 Days Post Crash

A new symptom has developed. Last night before going to bed, I urinated, then five minutes later, inexplicably needed to urinate again. After urinating the second time, urine kept dribbling out... then dribbling out... then dribbling out. Even after I'd eventually shook it out, when I was lying in bed, it felt as though more could drip out at any moment. Same thing today, two successive pisses within minutes of each other then feel like I'm going to leak urine lying on the couch. Obviously never had anything like this before in my life before the crash. Prostate related?

Last night's sleep was decent in terms of total hours slept (around 7), however, within the first hour, had the worst night panic/terror where it continues after waking up. Screamed the house down. I remember feeling like I was a different person who was also going through this crash. The same thing happened to a slightly lesser degree a few night's ago. Periodic waking every few hours is now a nightly feature of my nighttime experience since crashing.

Water fast is going well, less than four hours away from a full five days being completed. Will certainly appreciate the food once I start eating again. I notice food in every scene it appears on television.

Still no erections, testicles are mostly relaxed and hang low but penis is somewhat shriveled and has almost no response to visual or mental stimulation. The thing I notice first every morning when waking is how my whole groin area feels absent, like there's no force behind it like there has been ever since I went through puberty. At the moment, I feel chemically castrated. Insane.

I'm used to playing high intensity first person shooter video games. Tentatively tried to play a very slowed paced, interactive story video game (a genre I would never have bothered with before the crash) which is played in first person. Tolerable but frequently had to stop and close my eyes as a sensation in my brain like I was spinning out (stepping off a cheap travelling fair roller coaster) was occurring. Has anyone else had a symptom like that in the early days then had it resolve?

Libido is still there and hasn't really gone since the crash. Not sure what that means if anything.

 

[Concerned]

Eight and a half days into the water fast now. Most report that they find it easier past the first three days but that hasn't been my experience. Most of the day is ok hunger wise but the evenings have definitely been testing. The mental benefits have been the most fruitful and remarkably, I've so far managed to avoid the intolerable inability to focus, the depression and the dreadful brain fog which characterised my post crash, pre water fast state. I can't thank the community here enough for advising me to start that fast early.

Sleep has been better the last few nights in that I haven't had any night terrors or waking up screaming. I'm waking a few hours after falling asleep every night though. Had a nocturnal erection and morning wood which is a very positive sign. I think that's the first proper morning wood I've had since the crash.

I've still got this awful symptom where my head feels like it's spinning out every now and then. The water fast is no doubt contributing to some light headedness but this symptom was there prior to beginning the fast.

New symptom today: looked in the mirror and I've noticed I've developed a red rash/big red dots all around each shoulder and both sides of the neck. Not sure what it is; a google search finds that it's not uncommon on a water fast so hopefully it's that and it'll clear up during or after the re-feed.

Looking forward to my egg and lemon soup tomorrow evening!